Memo To Isiah Thomas: Suicide Is An Option

** Special thanks to M for inspiring this post! **

You are a disgusting man, Isiah. From a lack of sportsmanship, to jealousy, to instigating bench-clearing brawls, you have a long history of being a complete jerk. And while it is true that you are being sued by a possible other disgusting human being, you are still a disgusting man.

Bill Simmons explains the details of the case before yesterday's word of guilty verdicts. I regret I supported you against the Lakers in 1988 and 1989.

I just want you to know that you can keep a little dignity and honor. It is called seppuku.