Red Sox Concede Division, Rest Okijima & Manny, Focus on October, Panic Fans

With apologies to Heat, the President, and Oceans 11.

Mr. Cheesesteak and The Don have made their decision. They are the deciders. You might think they are leading us to disaster. But they have a plan to achieve victory and complete the mission. We will prevail.

We are not going to play for the division. This is how it's going to play-out. History will forget about how we gave-away the Division. The Red Sox are going for Red 7 - their 7th World Series victory.

You will hear a lot of shit from Yankee fans, Michael Kay, Suzyn Walkdman, John Sterling, and all ther other assholes in the NY sports media. But this is the plan. We will give-up what would have been our 6th AL East banner for a healthier squad that will go all the way in October.

Yankee fans will say that losing a 14.5 game lead is one of the biggest chokes in baseball history. But you can handle them. Simply point-out that the Red Sox never had a 14.5 game lead in the division. Spin it like Scott McClellan, people!

The Sox' biggest division lead at one point was 11.5 games over the Baltimore Orioles. That won't shut them up? Remind the Yankee fans of their historic, never-to-be-repeated collapse in games 4 thru 7 in the 2004 ALCS. That won't shut them up? Oh, well. We're moving on...

The Yankees can either cool their jets, or risk injuries if they continue to push for the division. They would be foolish to put the champagne on ice, prep lower Broadway for a parade, and plan postseason first pitch ceremonies at this point. Some of their fans are? Oh, well. We're moving on...

You have a decision to make right now as a member of Red Sox Nation.

The World Series is worth the risk. The division is not.

Our choice right now is to go with this plan, or 30 seconds from now we are gone on our separate ways.

Are you in?

UPDATE: Jose Melendez becomes the first to write about both the Sox and Professor Jared Diamond in the same post. Proof that we Red Sox fans are well read and wicked smaaaaaat.