The Florida Panhandle / Alabama / Mississippi - It Don't Get Any Redder Than That

And only there could a story like this emerge. An 11 year-old girl, driving drunk. And oh, so appropriate, she was driving a Chevy Monte Carlo. You know, the car Earnhardt fans drive, 'cos both father and son drove the rear-wheel-drive, NASCAR version. If were an Onion story, it would be pretty good.

We're talking about a region that gave us some of the darkest chapters in US history. Montgomery was the first capital of the Confederacy. The Heart of Dixie to this day.

Not to mention Lynyrd Skynyrd (whose members called the area from southern Alabama to Jacksonville home). Or the Lynyrd Skynyrd air disaster (a case study in how Red Staters get drunk and die). I can go on and on.

Red States, man. General Sherman didn't burn enough of them. Actually, I should be kind to Georgia. Georgia is fucking blue compared to the region southwest of it.

You know that Lynyrd Skynyrd's biggest hit, Sweet Home Alabama was a response to Neil Young's songs Southern Man and Alabama. Not great songs, but I do get a kick out of Southern Man, and its occasional use on the classic Saturday series, Mystery Science Theater 3000.

I found a karaoke version. Mmmmmmmm, karaoke. Can't wait to hit 2nd on 2nd after summer ends.