Screaming, Crying Paris Hilton Sent back to Jail; Sentence Restored to 45 Days

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Mommeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

That's what a good judge should do when lawyers and sheriffs fuck with his ruling. I like this judge:

During the hearing on the issue of her early release, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer was calm but apparently irked by developments of the morning. He said he had left the courthouse Thursday night having signed an order for Hilton to appear for the hearing.

When he got in his car early Friday, he said, he heard a radio report that she would not appear and that he had approved a telephonic hearing. He said no such thing had been approved by him.

"I at no time condoned the actions of the sheriff and at no time told him I approved the actions," he said of the decision to release Hilton from jail after three days.

"At no time did I approve the defendant being released from custody to her home on Kings Road," he said.

Got that, Sheriff Baca? He's the judge. You are the sheriff. He calls the fucking shots around here. Asshole.

And as for Paris, crying and screaming throughout the hearing!

I wish I had your problems, girlfriend. You're famous for being famous. You are the ultimate postmodern celebrity. For having your name, you are a millionaire and don't have to work a fucking day in your life. And because of this, you have millions of fans. Fans! They love you because they want to live like you.

You have fans the same reason George W. Bush has fans. Millions of people wish they wouldn't have to work and they wish they had rich parents to get them everything they want. And when you don't get what you want? Well, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Girls your age are getting blown up in Fallujah, Najaf, and Ramada, er, I mean Ramadi.

EIGHTY dead American female soldiers so far and counting.

I've got thirty fans here at MLH. I'm blessed. Happy Viernes, everyone.