Sports

Forever The Asshole

This is not breaking news, but Spike Lee is a world-class asshole. Oh yes, he is also a member of the famed "New York School" of filmmaking that closed out the 20th century (which includes DePalma, Scorsese, the Coen brothers, Jarmusch, and Sayles). He has made at least three great movies in his 22-year career. But make no mistake, he's an asshole and is proud of it. The fact that he's a Knicks fan should be a clue. But Lee is exercising his asshole powers a little bit more this month. He is so jealous of the Green dynasty of the NBA, he has crossed conference lines and has paid thousands of dollars to root for the Lakers in the finals.

In my opinion, the MVP of the finals is Ray Allen. He and Spike Lee are good friends. Allen had this to say about Lee:

"I looked up and I saw Spike cheering for the Lakers," Allen said. "That set me back a little bit. If he is a Knick fan, I'm figuring he was for the Eastern Conference. But he's cheering for the Lakers. I'm going to have to talk to him about that."

Lee has us Bostonians nailed when it comes to baseball titles and race in baseball. The Yankees promoted a black player into their rotation well before the Red Sox did. The Yankees have 26 championships to Boston's 7.

But when it comes to the Knicks, there is simply no comparison to the Celtics. The Celtics are superior in terms of of playoffs appearances and in terms of race.

Let's begin with the issue of race. The Celtics had the first Black superstar, who became the first Black coach in the NBA (and a player-coach at that).

The Celtics will soon have 17 NBA championships. The Knicks will only have two. Forever two championship. They almost stole a third with their clutching, pushing and grabbing under Pat Riley in the late 1990s. But now they are doomed to remain with two trophies, forever.

Because they suck. Because they are beyond suck.

They were originally named the Knickerbockers, which is a cool name. But now it is shortened to the name of a shaving injury.

They suck worse than the New Jersey Jets. They really are the bottom of the New York and New Jersey sports barrel.

They had one awesome moment, in their great 1970 season, when they went 60-22, led by 5 great players whose names hang in the MSG rafters.

And there's their biggest living supporter, courtside in L.A., obsessed with the greatest team in the short history of the NBA.

Green 17, Spike. I'm sure you'll deal with it.

Oh, and the Celtics record this season was 66-15. Let's assume that if this season had been 82 games, as it was in 1970, it would have been 66-16. That's still a winning percentage of 80.4%. Who thinks the Knicks will ever come close to their best 73.1%?

The A-Rod Narrative: He's the Hero of the Day (just today)

Michael Kay, the Yankees wingnut, needs a big ol' cup of Shut The Fuck Up. Really. The bastard needs to go away. When A-Rod came to bat today at the bottom of the 9th, with the bases loaded, he put the A-Rod narrative into high gear. Kay spoke about how A-Rod has always had trouble coming through in the clutch as a member of the Yankees. He explained how the presusure was on for A-Rod to get a hit in this situation. "He hears the whispers," Kay told the YES audience.

Then, as the Yankee script dictates now and then, A-Rod was a hero today. He hit a walkoff, grand slam home run. It's only April, and A-Rod already viewed this game against Baltimore as a must win, as he explained in the post-slam interview.

Kay exclaimed:

"Joy, relief, and a 10-7 Yankee win....Today they love him."

Yes, they love him today. It's a special day in the Yankee empire, where the fans have a ridiculously short memory. On regular days, they don't show love for A-Rod. They tend to forget that the front office watned A-Rod more than Boston did. They forget that A-Rod won an MVP two seasons ago (wouldn't that have made him a real Yankee and stop the 'whispers'?). They are cannibals, the Yankee faithful. They eat and kill their own on days they don't win. And when winning is the only thing, there is no fun. And the Yankees are the least fun team in the Majors.

But A-Rod, this is for you. You earned it. They won't still love you tomorrow.